thought i'd best check stagger just in case I'd been confusing (I'm known 4 it). Looked round a bunch of other blogs (even left a comment on 1) after posting last night. Getting a better grip on 'net corporeality. Does ANYONE EVER delete ANYTHING?
I'll stick with stagger now because thats who I am here, although sorely tempted to rename; 'my life as words & pixels'. Although some1 else has probably thought of it. Kia Ora can mean 'goodbye', 'I agree', 'you're welcome', but mostly it says hello. You asked 2 questions. Some1 said the main human impulse, the one that motivates all action, is the urge to tell other people who we are. Wish I could remember who said that - think it was a secretary general of the UN, love to have the exact quote. So questions are important and you have earned honesty from me.
Why delete?
Because I was worried i'd messed with your head (been in trouble for that in the past).
Because I was stung by the realisation that they were all just words on a monitor.
Because at the time I extrapolated that to mean that you were meaningless too. Since then calmer elements of the psyche have interrogated me as to why I'm not sulking about my ex or wanking over porn right now. Unexpected bonus: I'm easier around her now & we salvage more & more of our old love as friendship.
Because I'm touchy & frustrated. I'm dismayed by the thought of how difficult it would be to maintain even a vanilla relationship. Whakama.
Because I nag mt 15 year old about her 'net use & presence.
Because you had expressed concerns about your privacy.
Because I'm touchy & frustrated. I'm dismayed by the thought of how difficult it would be to maintain even a vanilla relationship. Whakama.
Because I nag mt 15 year old about her 'net use & presence.
Because you had expressed concerns about your privacy.
Why does it feel like I'm disappearing? Golly! You invite me to speculate about your feelings? That's trusting in a small way. Not asking for honesty but insight! OK then:
Because you know in the end everyone says goodbye (even if they dont know it at the time).
Because you had forgotten, or didn't believe me, when I said I wouldn't vanish.
Because you aren't smug or stupid so life is confusing - this makes happiness harder to find but more meaningful.
2 comments:
You didn't mess with my head. I'm too realistic and practical to allow you to mess with my head. There are oceans between us and neither one of us is so wealthy that we could cross those oceans on a weekly basis if we wanted to. That's what my comment - the one about words on a monitor - was about. I didn't mean to say that words were meaningless, just that I need more than words on a monitor to trigger a submissive reaction. I need contact that involves all of my senses - at least some of the time, if not all.
I apologize if my words were insulting or hurtful. They weren't meant to sting. They were only meant to inform you of my mindset. I enjoy our exchanges, but I know this is all our exchanges will ever involve - words on a monitor.
I hope that explanation helped.
By the way, you remind me of the lead singer for Supertramp. You look a little like him. Has anyone ever told you that before?
cool. never been compared to the lead singer of supertramp at all.
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